{"id":779,"date":"2013-08-06T15:34:12","date_gmt":"2013-08-06T15:34:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/monochromist.com\/2013\/08\/06\/h-w-so-what-is-it-to-really-love-j-a-m\/"},"modified":"2013-08-06T15:34:12","modified_gmt":"2013-08-06T15:34:12","slug":"h-w-so-what-is-it-to-really-love-j-a-m","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2013\/08\/06\/h-w-so-what-is-it-to-really-love-j-a-m\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

H. W. \u2013 So, what is it to really love?<\/p>\n

J.-A. M. \u2013 To really love someone is to believe that by loving them you\u2019ll get to a truth about yourself. We love the one that harbours the response, or a response, to our question: \u2018Who am I?\u2019<\/p>\n

H. W. \u2013 Why do some people know how to love and not others?<\/p>\n

J.-A. M. \u2013 Some people know how to provoke love in the other person, serial lovers as it were, men and women alike. They know what buttons to push to get loved. But they don\u2019t necessarily love, rather they play cat and mouse with their prey. To love, you have to admit your lack, and recognise that you need the other, that you miss him or her. Those that think they\u2019re complete on their own, or want to be, don\u2019t know how to love. And sometimes, they ascertain this painfully. They manipulate, pull strings, but of love they know neither the risk nor the delights.<\/p>\n

H. W. \u2013 \u2018Complete on their own\u2019: only a man could think that\u2026<\/p>\n

J.-A. M. \u2013 Well spotted! Lacan used to say, \u2018To love is to give what you haven\u2019t got.\u2019 Which means: to love is to recognize your lack and give it to the other, place it in the other. It\u2019s not giving what you possess, goods and presents, it\u2019s giving something else that you don\u2019t possess, which goes beyond you. To do that you have to assume your lack, your \u2018castration\u2019 as Freud used to say. And that is essentially feminine. One only really loves from a feminine position. Loving feminises. That\u2019s why love is always a bit comical in a man. But if he lets himself get intimidated by ridicule, then in actual fact he\u2019s not very sure of his virility.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\n

Jacques-Alain Miller: On Love<\/p>\n

via\u00a0Redirecting<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

H. W. \u2013 So, what is it to really love? J.-A. M. \u2013 To really love someone is to believe that by loving them you\u2019ll get to a truth about yourself. We love the one that harbours the response, or a response, to our question: \u2018Who am I?\u2019 H. W. \u2013 Why do some people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-video_graphics","post_format-post-format-quote"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5sGHy-cz","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6870,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/23\/j-by-h\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":0},"title":"j by h","author":"monochromist","date":"June 23, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The fruit he frote The zest he zoste Serving fresh fruit; all day, and all night, in this pride month... mobile fruit wala nightly hopper supply watch me slayyy","rel":"","context":"In "art"","block_context":{"text":"art","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/art\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/img_20230623_082253-01_edit_196260837085676385808576125065910-scaled.jpg?fit=981%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/img_20230623_082253-01_edit_196260837085676385808576125065910-scaled.jpg?fit=981%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/img_20230623_082253-01_edit_196260837085676385808576125065910-scaled.jpg?fit=981%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/img_20230623_082253-01_edit_196260837085676385808576125065910-scaled.jpg?fit=981%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2040,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2013\/05\/30\/h-u-ma-nc-o-m-pu-t-e-r-i-dreamt-about-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":1},"title":"\/\/\/H U M\/A N\/\/C O M P\/U T E R: I dreamt about you last night. Dreamt and you and the people you know…","author":"monochromist","date":"May 30, 2013","format":"link","excerpt":"\/\/\/H U M\/A N\/\/C O M P\/U T E R: I dreamt about you last night. Dreamt and you and the people you know...humancomputer: I dreamt about you last night. Dreamt and you and the people you know and the city you live in. I wasnt there but i was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "motion"","block_context":{"text":"motion","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/video_graphics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2311,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2012\/07\/09\/h-u-ma-n-c-o-m-pu-t-e-r\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":2},"title":"\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ H U M\/A N \/\/\/ C O M P\/U T E R \/\/\/\/: META MODERN MANIFESTO","author":"monochromist","date":"July 9, 2012","format":"link","excerpt":"\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ H U M\/A N \/\/\/ C O M P\/U T E R \/\/\/\/: META MODERN MANIFESTOhumancomputer: 1. We recognise oscillation to be the natural order of the world.2. We must liberate ourselves from the inertia resulting from a century of modernist ideological naivety and the cynical insincerity of its\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "motion"","block_context":{"text":"motion","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/video_graphics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2014\/10\/07\/we-are-creation-and-destruction-a-complete\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":3},"title":"we are creation and destruction\u2026","author":"monochromist","date":"October 7, 2014","format":"quote","excerpt":"we are creation and destruction - a complete (w)hole. ouroburos","rel":"","context":"In "motion"","block_context":{"text":"motion","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/video_graphics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5168,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2011\/03\/20\/dhiraagah-halaakuhuri\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":4},"title":"dhiraagah halaakuhuri","author":"monochromist","date":"March 20, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"R dhiraagah halaakuhuri A y S Y?? R bikaari kuran ulheythynun S ehentha .. dhen change kuranvenu wataniya ah\u2026 R net bill ehh S oh ehentha\u2026 neygenenu.. ROL kihine vaanebaa.. R dhen s bill dhakkadheynvy nu R hahah S ok hama dhakadheygotha\u2026 aneykaa kihavareybaa???? ;) R \u200e10,550.30 S oh\u2026.. hadha\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "motion"","block_context":{"text":"motion","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/video_graphics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4856,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2009\/07\/19\/haraam\/","url_meta":{"origin":779,"position":5},"title":"h\/araam","author":"monochromist","date":"July 19, 2009","format":"quote","excerpt":"h\/araam","rel":"","context":"In "motion"","block_context":{"text":"motion","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/category\/video_graphics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=779"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/779\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}