{"id":6849,"date":"2023-06-17T09:00:57","date_gmt":"2023-06-17T04:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/?p=6849"},"modified":"2023-07-16T09:24:53","modified_gmt":"2023-07-16T04:24:53","slug":"there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/","title":{"rendered":"there is never any symmetry to what wants"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"335\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6850\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/01-3\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?fit=839%2C2560&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"839,2560\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633017543&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"01\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?fit=335%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01.jpg?resize=335%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6850\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?resize=335%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 335w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?resize=98%2C300&amp;ssl=1 98w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C2345&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?resize=503%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 503w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?resize=327%2C999&amp;ssl=1 327w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/01-scaled.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=335%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 670w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"629\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6852\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/attachment\/03\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?fit=663%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"663,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633017520&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"03\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?fit=629%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?resize=629%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6852\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?resize=629%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 629w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?resize=184%2C300&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?resize=613%2C999&amp;ssl=1 613w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/03.jpg?w=663&amp;ssl=1 663w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 629px) 100vw, 629px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6855\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/04-1\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?fit=720%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"720,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633017509&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"04-1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6855\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?resize=666%2C999&amp;ssl=1 666w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/04-1.jpg?w=720&amp;ssl=1 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6856\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/05-1\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?fit=720%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"720,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633017531&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"05-1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6856\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?resize=666%2C999&amp;ssl=1 666w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/05-1.jpg?w=720&amp;ssl=1 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6857\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/attachment\/06\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?fit=720%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"720,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633017543&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"06\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6857\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?resize=666%2C999&amp;ssl=1 666w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/06.jpg?w=720&amp;ssl=1 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"6859\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/dscf0035-1\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?fit=720%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"720,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;4&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633004768&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;500&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.033333333333333&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"DSCF0035-1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6859\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?resize=666%2C999&amp;ssl=1 666w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0035-1.jpg?w=720&amp;ssl=1 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" data-attachment-id=\"6860\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2023\/06\/17\/there-is-never-any-symmetry-to-what-wants\/dscf0037\/#main\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?fit=1620%2C1080&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1620,1080\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;3.6&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;X-T4&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1633004895&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;16&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;160&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"DSCF0037\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?fit=700%2C467&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=700%2C467&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6860\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=1536%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?resize=700%2C467&amp;ssl=1 700w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?w=1620&amp;ssl=1 1620w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?w=1400&amp;ssl=1 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>there is never any symmetry to what wants<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>they told me about how they paid 800 dollars or some other ridiculous amount and how it was all too scripted. then, maybe overcome with shame or afraid that someone else might hear about this, pressed delete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>outtakes from pppain series: acrylic and ointment on glass. printed on inserts from eye drops and ointments of various sizes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>september 2021, vietnam.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>there is never any symmetry to what wants they told me about how they paid 800 dollars or some other ridiculous amount and how it was all too scripted. then, maybe overcome with shame or afraid that someone else might hear about this, pressed delete. outtakes from pppain series: acrylic and ointment on glass. printed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6860,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,361],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-video_graphics","category-spectres-of-subscendence"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/monochromist.com\/notes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/DSCF0037.jpg?fit=1620%2C1080&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5sGHy-1Mt","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6360,"url":"https:\/\/monochromist.com\/notes\/2021\/07\/18\/6360\/","url_meta":{"origin":6849,"position":0},"title":"abstract 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