The primal choice, the fork in the road, is between others’ and one’s own self. If the only way to maintain the self is to lose others, then the ordinary child will give up the self. Safety is a most basic and prepotent need for children, more primarily necessary by far than independence and self-actualization. If adults force this choice upon him, of choosing between the loss of one (lower and stronger) vital necessity or another (higher and weaker) vital necessity, the child must choose safety even at the cost of giving up self and growth.
“The impulses of a soul are the mark of its authenticity.”